Dear Haya,
I’m a 12th grade student and struggling with some emotional and mental issues, which continue to impact my academic life, especially my challenges with mathematics. I had failed the subject earlier and this would be my final chance to pass this year. When I was in the 11th grade, I couldn’t attend college due to severe health issues, including physical and mental, which made it tough for me to leave home. I’ve lately been experiencing similar symptoms.
I was earlier taking prescribed medication which continued through my second year. but during this time, I felt that my memory and focus were impacted. I couldn’t remember whatever I memorised as part of my academic routine. Somehow, I managed to clear physics, but failed in maths. A month before my exams, I had stopped taking my medication, but that period was immensely difficult, as I felt sleepy and exhausted all the time. As much as I try to control it these days, I tend to feel frustrated and angry, which also causes anxiety and intrusive thoughts, making it tough for me to focus on studies.
I try to stay positive and spiritual, but feel stuck and emotionally and mentally drained. I tend to compare my life with my younger cousin who is now in university, while I’m stuck in college. If I fail again, I’ll lose three important years of my life.
Could you please guide me on how I can manage these stressful feelings, emotions and improve my motivation and focus?
Dear student,
Thank you for opening up and sharing your query. I hear the despair, helplessness and disappointment in your words and it is a lot to carry. It takes a lot of courage to express your struggles so honestly, especially when you’ve been carrying both academic pressure and emotional distress.
I hear you’ve been going through prolonged difficulty, both physically and mentally and that understandably affects your energy, sense of self, focus and motivation.
First, I want to normalise what you’re experiencing. When our body and mind have been under stress for an extended period — whether due to illness, medication effects, or emotional strain — it becomes much harder to concentrate, retain information, and feel motivated. This doesn’t mean you’re not capable or intelligent; it simply means your system has been overwhelmed and needs compassion and regulation before it can perform optimally again.
The signs you’re describing are your body’s way of signalling that something isn’t quite right. When you noticed changes in your focus and memory while on medication, did you share this with your doctor or decide to stop on your own? And what were you initially diagnosed with? It’s important to know this because suddenly stopping medication can have a strong physiological and emotional impact — and from your description, it sounds like your system might still be adjusting.
Right now, I’m hearing experiences of anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and anger — all of which can feel very distressing but are also your body’s way of expressing dysregulation and unmet needs.
Let’s take a look at what you can begin working on:
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Regulate your nervous system
Your nervous system seems to be in fight/flight for too long. You need to work on consciously bringing it to a regulated state. This can be done through various ways, like, breath work, meditation, grounding, spending time in nature, social connections, and prioritising sleep. This will aid your body in feeling safe.
Get physically active
Physical activity has a direct impact on our mood, emotions, attention and focus. I would recommend some kind of strength training/resistance workouts.
Create a realistic study rhythm
Instead of forcing long study hours, try studying in shorter bursts — 25-30 minutes followed by a five minute break. This technique (often called the Pomodoro method) can help prevent overwhelm and gradually rebuild your focus
Reframe comparison
It’s natural to compare yourself to your cousin. But remember, your path is unique, and you’ve faced challenges that required enormous strength. You’re not behind — you’re learning endurance and resilience that will serve you far beyond academics.
Seek professional help
I’d encourage you to consult a psychiatrist and work alongside a therapist. This combination can help you address both the biological and emotional sides of what you’re experiencing, while also exploring any underlying issues that may need healing.
Remember, this one phase doesn’t define your potential or your future. What matters most is not how quickly you “catch up”, but how kindly and consistently you support your own healing. You’re not behind; you’re rebuilding, and that’s one of the bravest things a person can do.
With warmth and encouragement,
— Haya
Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, corporate well-being strategist and trainer with expertise in creating organisational cultures focused on well-being and raising awareness around mental health.
Send her your questions by filling this form or email to [email protected]
Note: The advice and opinions above are those of the author and specific to the query. We strongly recommend our readers consult relevant experts or professionals for personalised advice and solutions. The author and Geo.tv do not assume any responsibility for the consequences of actions taken based on the information provided herein. All published pieces are subject to editing to enhance grammar and clarity.
