You’re not supposed to let your love life into the workplace. Traditionally, these are two very separate worlds. One exists between the hours of nine and five, and another extends outside of that. Amalgamate the two only at your peril – watch Severance, and you’ll understand what we mean. Apparently, this isn’t the modus operandi among Gen Z. Not because they’re all having affairs with their colleagues – rather, it’s almost the opposite problem, given that this is a generation in the depths of a dating recession.
The evidence is everywhere, from surveys to social media. In terms of the former, the Institute for Family Studies recently found that 74 per cent of young women and 64 per cent of young men had not dated or dated only a few times in the last year. When asked how often the respondents were dating, only 31 per cent claimed to be active daters.
Meanwhile, according to a survey conducted by the Survey Center on American Life, only 56 per cent of Gen Z arrived at adulthood having experienced a romantic relationship, compared to 75 per cent of members of older generations. That’s just the data side of things. Take one look at a single woman’s social media feeds, and you’ll quickly see just how much heteropessimism is plaguing the current dating landscape. No one, it seems, is having a good time dating. And apparently, it’s affecting our workplace performance, with psychologists claiming that dating less, if at all, means our communication skills are slowly being eroded.
“There is a lot of research directly linking our conflict management styles with our ability to develop intimate relationships,” says Tessa West, a professor of psychology at New York University, citing a 2024 study that found individuals with high levels of intimacy were better at things like conflict management and reaching compromises. “Skills like collaborative problem solving are learned through the trials and tribulations of your intimate relationships, and these skills directly translate to the workplace,” adds West.
Of course, these skills can be developed in other places outside of romantic partnerships, such as the family home. But for young adults, there’s nothing quite like the emotional toolbox that a relationship provides you with. “When you miss these ‘teachable moments’ when you’re young, you enter the workforce without a baseline level of skills that you need to navigate tough situations at work,” says West. “We don’t realise it, but we learn a lot about managing tough social situations during our teenage and early adult years through these early, awkward social experiences. You’d be surprised at how similar it is to negotiate a workload with a team as it is to negotiate living rules with roommates, or negotiate whose family we are going to spend the holidays with with a romantic partner.”
It might sound like a leap at first; what does your romantic life have to do with your capacity to do your job? But break it down, and it makes a lot more sense. So many of the interpersonal skills I’ve learned, developed, and nurtured in my relationships have helped me at work: negotiation, communicating my needs, empathy for the needs of others, advocating for myself, compromising, taking constructive criticism, teamwork, partnership, and so much more. All of those things have been put to the test and challenged in my love life more than any other area. With this in mind, it’s easy to see how not dating could hinder some of those skillsets because they aren’t being honed as regularly.
But there are other costs, too. Dating less also means we’re finding dating more difficult. At least, that seems to be the underlying experience among my single friends and me. The negativity around what it means to be dating right now can be overwhelming and exhausting. It impacts everything from energy to concentration. Bad dates can result in bad sleep, which means work becomes a headache the following day, and any kind of anxiety or quirk can consume someone’s headspace for the duration of the working day. With this in mind, it can become a bit of a circular dilemma, whereby, if you happen to be uncoupled, you’re doomed if you do date and doomed if you don’t date.
Sometimes I wonder if I’d be much more productive if I weren’t dating, simply because I’d have more focus and energy to put into my work and more brain power
Anonymous, 31
“My love life definitely affects my work, especially because I’m self-employed,” one single 31-year-old friend tells me. “Dating takes up a surprising amount of time and mental energy from being on apps, swiping, and chatting, to actually seeing someone. Even just keeping conversations going, replying to messages, or sending voice notes takes a lot of headspace, and I find myself overthinking how to respond or trying to be engaging. It all adds up, and sometimes I wonder if I’d be much more productive if I weren’t dating, simply because I’d have more focus and energy to put into my work and more brain power.”
It might sound trite, and it’s certainly not the advice you’d find on a #SinglePositivity Instagram account, but problems like these can be solved once someone enters into a romantic relationship. Writing in the Financial Times about the US photographer Sally Mann, the author Megan Nolan posited the idea that being in a relationship freed up her artistic headspace.
“Not to say that being in a couple is less complex than solitude, but I speak from experience when I say that there are long years, then decades, for the single person who wants a partner, where that unmet desire simply occupies too much of the mind,” she wrote in the piece, which was published last October. “One of the primary things I felt upon finally meeting my partner was not just the euphoria that had accompanied previous love affairs, but the relief of having so much of myself granted back to me. A part of that self having been out wandering, away from my work.”
Much of this is also about confidence. There’s a certain spring in your step that can be acquired through romantic success, one that will undoubtedly have a positive impact on your workplace aptitude. “When people don’t have that, there’s a certain way that it manifests, even though it’s not related to those same issues,” explains Amanda Ferrara, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in California. “There’s a certain level of caution, a certain level of second-guessing how you’re perceived, or a certain level of avoidance if there’s any possibility of being judged.”
In 2026, all of us are spending more time in front of screens than in front of each other. On top of the dating recession, there are studies to show that Gen Z is also socialising less and struggling with forming meaningful social connections as a result. At 31, I’m a millennial, but I can say with some confidence that the same patterns exist among people my age. The ramifications on our workplaces are worrying, sure, but in all honesty, I’m more concerned by what happens when our ailing love lives hinder our ailing work lives, and we’re left with… what? The housing, cost of living, and climate crises?
Relief has to be found somewhere, and while that might mean different things to different people, one thing is surely certain: it’s much more likely to be found off of our screens as opposed to on them. A little more offline time will certainly benefit our romantic prospects – and if all the research is right, it will benefit our work lives, too.
