Hi Haya,
I often find myself feeling bored of everything around me, even when I’m busy doing work or while performing different activities. It’s not the usual boredom that one may experience. In fact, it can get extremely overwhelming and almost insufferable, so much so that it drains my energy and I question if anything is wrong with me.
I don’t really understand why I feel this way as I am pretty occupied, but deep down I suffer from detachment, dissatisfaction and restlessness. Could this be linked to a lack of motivation or stress and burnout or am I too depressed?
How do I understand my feelings and address this dreadful sense of boredom that has consumed me?
— A bored soul
Dear bored soul,
I am hearing your struggle. While you are busy on the outside but from the inside you feel hollow and empty. Nothing has been sparking joy or interest and in fact you end up feeling overwhelmed and drained.
That in itself speaks volumes and can signal to various things.
Let’s take a look and explore.
Stress/burnout: When our nervous system has been in an overdrive for too long it can end up burning us out. Activities that may have felt engaging to you may now feel monotonous because your body could be showing signs of exhaustion.
Depression: Depression doesn’t always look like consistent sadness. You could be functioning from the outside, but depressed on the inside. The sense of life happening around you, but not really feeling anything. It could also be years of unprocessed emotions that have been repressed and not dealt with. To have this formally ruled out, I would suggest going to a psychologist/psychiatrist.
Lack of meaning/alignment: Sometimes we are living a certain kind of life, doing certain things on autopilot, but those things and way of living doesn’t feel meaningful to us or is aligned with our values, passions or sense of purpose. It doesn’t bring us joy. There is a disconnect and dissatisfaction between what we are doing and what we long for.
To get started, I would first and foremost ask you to get into the observer seat of your own life.
Get to know yourself better. Observe the following:
- When do these feelings get the strongest? What am I doing in that moment? Start taking notes.
- Are there any moments when I feel any kind of joy, connection? Even a spark for a brief moment? What am I doing in those moments? Who am I around?
- Backtrack on previous times when you would be enjoying what you’re doing or engaged? What were you doing then?
- What happens in your body when heaviness sets in?
These cues can help you get a better picture of what is going on.
Seeing a therapist is a great way of understanding our inner world. It is a safe space to unpack whether it’s depression, burnout, unprocessed emotions or lack of alignment and purpose.
In the meantime, start with slowing the pace, being observant, revisiting what mattered to you, being compassionate with yourself not in a way to fix yourself, but more of getting to know yourself better.
What you have expressed is not unusual, and there is nothing wrong with you. Your inner world is letting you know something needs your attention. With the right support, it is absolutely possible to feel more alive again.
Hope this helps!
— Haya
Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, corporate well-being strategist and trainer with expertise in creating organisational cultures focused on well-being and raising awareness around mental health.
Send her your questions by filling this form or email to [email protected]
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